


Three Months Later (a Fix it! fic)

by Anwamane_13



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 07:33:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anwamane_13/pseuds/Anwamane_13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what should have happened with Reid Oliver. Not that stupid train.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Months Later (a Fix it! fic)

**Author's Note:**

> beta: traciamc

Memorial Hospital, ER, 09-07-2010  
  
“Who knew I had one to give,” Reid said, turning his bruised face to Luke. The light of the ER was too bright for his eyes and his chest hurt like hell, but he forced himself to speak. He didn’t want this to be harder for Luke than it already was.  
  
“No. You’re not going anywhere. And neither is your heart. There’s still so much that you have to do… so many patients’ lives that you have to save… and so many stupid, stupid arguments that we have to get through and so many days that we have to spend together. Please, Reid… we haven’t had enough days. We’re just getting started, you can’t leave me. I love you, so please, please, you can’t leave me!”  
  
Reid stared at Luke for a long time, marveling at the sight before him. How could someone be so beautiful? He tried to take a deep breath but it hurt too much. Then, after a while, he managed to speak “Bob… John…”, with tremendous effort.  
  
Luke looked at Tom pointedly.  
  
“I’ll get them,” Tom said hurriedly, amazed that the broken man on the gurney was even conscious, let alone speaking. He opened the ER’s doors and looked at the small group talking in the waiting room. “Dad, John, Dr. Oliver wants to see you.”  
  
Bob Hughes and John Dixon hurried into the ER with worried faces. “Reid?” Bob said, looking at Reid almost tenderly.  
  
“I just said to… Tom that…that I… wanted…to give my heart… to Chris,” Reid said, closing his eyes tiredly.  
  
“Reid, that’s…” Bob looked at Tom, who nodded briefly. “I don’t know what to say,” he said, looking at Luke and John with a lost expression.  
  
Luke bit back his tears, because now Reid was looking at him. “Reid…” he said again, this time pleadingly. “Don’t…”  
  
Reid gave Luke a small smile that took almost all the strength he had left. But there was still a lot that he wanted to say. His raised his right hand, a silent request for Luke to take it, and the young man did it, kissing the bruised knuckles lightly.  
  
“Bob… sorry, but… can’t do this. Chris needs a… heart and…I tried, but…”  
  
“Don’t worry about it now,” said Bob.  
  
“Father, Dr. Oliver just said that – “Tom started.  
  
“I know what he said, and I’m not even thinking about this. This is crazy, you don’t discuss a heart donation with the donor himself,” Bob snapped. “Reid, I – “  
  
“Yeah. It’s…too much pain, Bob. Too… much.” Reid gasped and closed his eyes with a grimace. Then he opened it again, tears of pain almost falling. “Chris’ll have… wait for… a heart… ‘cause…I’m gonna need… mine.”  
  
“Of course you will,” said Luke tenderly. “To stay with me.”   
  
Reid nodded a little to Luke, and turned his head to Bob again. “I know… ‘m broken.” Another gasp and a painful attempt to cough. “Not surprised if… I won’t…make it…”  
  
“Reid…” Luke pleaded, crying, when Bob nodded to him. It didn’t appear to be a single bone in Reid’s body that wasn’t broken. It would be a miracle if he survived. But Luke didn’t care. “Fight…” He didn’t even try to hide the tears. “Fight for us. I need you with me.”  
  
Reid tried to nod again, and almost succeeded, but his head pounded, so instead he gave another painful grimace. He looked at Bob again; it was important that everyone understood what he wanted before he passed out. “You and John…you’ll have to… fix me,” Reid whispered hoarsely, every word bringing more and more pain to his throat, to his entire body. “Don’t care… how long… how hard… just… fix me. I know… odds against me, but… just do it, whatever it… it takes.”  
  
“Reid…” Bob shook his head sadly. “Your condition…” He wasn’t going to lie, sugarcoat or hide anything from Reid, especially Reid, who always spoke nothing but the truth, and who deserved nothing less. Even if speaking the truth made the heart of the old doctor ache at the sight before him.   
  
“Hard… but not… impossible,” Reid said, trying to take a deep breath but finding that was impossible due to the many broken ribs he had. “Not… giving up. There’s a… a DNR card… in my wallet…” Reid rasped, feeling incredibly tired, wanting desperately to shut down, to let go, but knowing he couldn’t, not yet, not while he had a very important message to deliver. “I… want you to… forget it… do what… whatever you… you have to.” His hand searched for Luke’s wildly, and Luke grabbed it, producing a wince at the contact with the bruised knuckles. “Luke… he said… he… loves me,” he whispered again, barely conscious. “Can’t… can’t leave… leave him… now.”   
  
Luke’s eyes watered again and his other hand caressed lightly the small part of Reid’s forehead that wasn’t covered with bruises. “Yes, I love you, and you’re not going anywhere, okay? Stay with me, Reid. Stay with me.” He was crying openly now.  
  
Reid turned his head slowly, painfully, his breath coming in short and labored puffs. “Not… going… anywhere,” he managed to say before the dark blanket of unconsciousness enveloped him.  
  
“Bob…?” Luke said, alarmed, when the machines started beeping loudly.  
  
Bob had half a second of hesitation. Looking at Reid, he didn’t even know where to start, so broken the younger doctor was. He and the emergency team had already examined Reid, and they knew it was virtually impossible… no, not impossible, just hard, as Reid had said. Very, very hard.  
  
Tom knew what Reid had said about his own heart, that he wanted to donate his heart to Chris. But he remembered the fierce determination in the young doctor’s eyes when he said, very clearly, that he wanted to be resuscitated if it ever came to that, and he saw Luke’s despair while he grabbed Reid’s hand as if it was the last thing keeping him standing. There wasn’t any doubt about the fact that Reid Oliver wanted to live, whatever it took. “He said to forget the DNR, Dad.”   
  
Bob sprung into action, followed by John, who until now had remained quiet. “Nurse!” John yelled, and two nurses instantly came running, putting on gloves, grabbing oxygen masks and setting up the machines that would help Reid to breathe.  
  
“Come on, Luke,” Tom put his hands on Luke’s shoulders gently, “Let them do their work,” he said, slowly guiding the shaking mess that was the young man out of the ER, while Bob, John and the nurses frantically tried to save the neurosurgeon.  
  
  
\-- --

  
Memorial Hospital, 12-24-2010  
  
Reid Oliver spent almost an entire month in the ICU. Luke spent almost every night by his side, holding his hand. Even if he was heavily sedated, even if there was a machine breathing for him, Luke thought that some part of Reid was aware that Luke was there, that he wasn’t alone. When he thought he was going crazy with worry, Luke caressed Reid’s hair gently and prayed, comforted by the incessant beeping of the machines, because it was a proof that Reid was still there with him.  
  
Reid went through three surgeries to mend his broken legs, plus a number of plastic surgeries to cover the scars left by all the previous surgeries. He also had his spleen and his left kidney removed, they were too damaged to do any work anymore. Then he spent an additional month in one of the hospital’s rooms, and then started therapy – which still wasn’t over, by the way.   
  
When he went back home things got only slightly better. On the bright side, Luke announced he would move in with him and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. On the other hand, Reid was still being poked with needles all the time, tortured by therapists, forced to eat food that looked like baby poop, take all kinds of medicines that left him feeling like shit. Reid was angry and frustrated. Well, angry and frustrated didn’t even begin to cover it. After a whole month he was still unable to walk properly, even with crutches it was a big effort to him; and what was worse, he had no idea when he would go back to the operating room, because he still couldn’t stand on his own.   
  
Sometimes he wondered if he would ever go back to be in the operating room as a doctor, because he had been in the OR as a patient too many times already. A cold fear gripped his heart when he thought that maybe, just maybe, he would never be able to operate again. And what if Luke left him because it he was a burden? Then he would have nightmares of trains coming and crashing onto him, leaving him floating in blackness and pain, and he would wake up gasping, angry and terrified at the same time. Luke was always there, making everything better with soothing words and kisses, and the love that shone in his brown eyes made everything feel right, made Reid feel right and complete, as if there was nothing wrong with him. Even with all the pain, even if after three months he still couldn’t even walk without help, Reid wouldn’t have traded his time with Luke for anything in the whole world.  
  
But other times, like today, he was really angry and frustrated.  
  
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” he yelled, when his legs simply gave up and he sank to the cushioned floor, letting go of the parallel bars he was holding trying to keep his body upright. He’d had cramps the whole morning, and even though Luke insisted that he skip therapy today, because it was Christmas Eve, Reid would have none of it. He wouldn’t skip therapy not even one day, because if he had any chance to ever walk normally again, it would be with the damned therapy. “God, I hate this!” he yelled again.  
  
“Well, Dr. Oliver, you were doing a pretty good job a few minutes ago,” his therapist calmly said.   
  
“I don’t want to do “a good job” god dammit, I want to walk! I want to walk! Why is it so difficult? Why don’t these fucking legs cooperate?”  
  
“Let’s try again, shall we?” she said, trying to help him stand up.  
  
“Leave me alone,” he barked, face red with anger.  
  
“On the floor?”  
  
“Leave. Me. ALONE!”  
  
The therapist shook her head and left the room, finding Luke waiting outside, calmly reading a book. “He’s impossible today,” she said. “I’m going to get some coffee while you talk to him.”  
  
“I’ll see what I can do,” Luke smiled, and cautiously entered the therapy room.  
  
“Reid…?” he said.  
  
“Don’t start. I yelled, but I didn’t hurt her feelings. She didn’t even cry. I guess. Just want to be alone.”  
  
“I didn’t say anything.”  
  
“Good.”  
  
Luke walked to where Reid was, took off his shoes and then knelt on the cushioned floor of the therapy room, next to his boyfriend. “Do you want me to leave too?”  
  
“No. Not you,” Reid said, head turned to the other side so Luke couldn’t see his expression.  
  
“Okay,” Luke said, and he remained quiet for a few minutes, until he heard a sniff coming from Reid.   
  
“Reid? Are you - “  
  
“No, I’m not.”  
  
“Don’t you think it’s better to unfold your legs? Want some help?”  
  
“I can do it,” Reid snapped, and with effort, moved his aching legs, stretching them after what seemed an eternity.   
  
Luke looked at his boyfriend, his determined and incredibly brave boyfriend, who had already gone through so much, and he asked himself how he could help. He wanted to take Reid’s pain away, make him better, make him strong. He knew that right now, Reid was in pain, because of the way he clenched and unclenched his fists, and because of the thin layer of sweat on his upper lip.  
  
Reid sighed. “Sometimes… I just want to give up. It hurts, it fucking hurts, and when my body refuses to cooperate, I…”  
  
“You knew it was going to be hard,” Luke said softly, raising his hand to Reid’s face and brushing his hair off his forehead.  
  
“I knew,” Reid whispered, finally looking at the blond. “But…I know how much you’re looking forward to spending Christmas with your family and I… I know you want me to go with you, and I wanted to go there walking. Not like this. Not in a wheel chair.”  
  
“This is our first Christmas together,” Luke said smiling softly. “I almost lost you, Reid. Do you think it matters if you can walk or not? I know it’s only temporary. All I care is that you’re here.”  
  
“It matters to me,” Reid murmured. “I don’t want your family to think I’m some charity case. You could be with anyone else, not with half a man.” His tone was harsh and bitter.  
  
“Shut up, Reid,” Luke said, almost angry. “You are my life, you hear me? If you’re a charity case, what am I? I’m an alcoholic college drop-out, just to start the list. My list is longer than yours, I’m sure.”  
  
“I hate when you talk about yourself like that,” Reid grimaced.  
  
“So you know how I feel when you say you’re a charity case. You’re everything to me okay? And I have every confidence that you’ll make a full recovery. No matter how long it takes, you’ll make it, because you’re Reid fucking Oliver and you never give up.”  
  
Luke lay on the cushioned floor, looking at Reid, who sighed and held his hand, giving him a tired smile.  
  
“I wish I could do something to help you,” Luke whispered, eyes watery. He knew Reid still had long and hard months of a difficult recovery ahead, but he never doubted that he would make it.  
  
“You’re here,” Reid said. “It’s all that matters. And it helps a lot.”  
  
Luke snorted. “Yeah, but I don’t know…sometimes I think I just add to the burden you already have, with my worry and my constant insistence to help you. I don’t know how you’re not tired of me.”   
  
Luke was glad that Reid, who had always been a completely independent man, was so different from Noah when it came to accepting help. His ex-boyfriend pushed him away when he became blind, hurt Luke with words and action, made him feel inadequate just because he wanted to help. Reid… accepted his help, even though he mocked him, calling him Madre Theresa. Reid never made him feel unwelcome, and when he was in pain or having a particular difficult day, Luke was always able to soothe him, to make him feel better. He said that the sound of Luke’s voice made the pain go away, calmed him, and more often than not, it was this sound that lulled him to sleep.   
  
Reid just smiled. His hand – thank God both his hands were miraculously intact – caressed Luke’s cheekbone for a while. Then he sighed, and his blue eyes bore into Luke’s. “I’ll never get tired of you,” he whispered. “You’re the reason why I’m still here, why I didn’t give up.”  
  
Luke kissed Reid’s lips softly, thinking for the hundredth time how he had almost lot this. Him.  
  
“That DNR card…” Reid went on, “I had it made as soon as I turned twenty one. Didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, and I knew that no one would want to take care of me.”  
  
“Reid…”  
  
“You met my Uncle Angus. I don’t think he would…. Anyway, I just…I just thought that, if one day I was in such a bad shape, so critical that I would need to be brought back…it wasn’t…I wasn’t worth the trouble.”  
  
“But you changed your mind,” Luke said softly, hand never leaving Reid’s curly hair. “You asked them to fix you.”  
  
“Because you said you loved me,” Reid said simply, openly, blue eyes more sincere than Luke had ever seen. “You said that and… I couldn’t let go, and believe me, I wanted to, my body wanted to. But what you said… it gave me a reason to live. I’ve never had a strong reason to live before, Luke. Not even my patients and my work was reason enough for me to want to go through this. But you… I couldn’t leave you alone. I just couldn’t.”  
  
Luke let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Heart beating fast at Reid’s admission, he kissed his lips again, stopping when Reid smiled into the kiss.  
  
“What?” Luke asked.  
  
Reid smiled even more. “I love you. I just realized I hardly say it back. Even though I’m sure you know by now, but… I love you. So don’t ever ask me again if I’m tired of you. That will never happen, because you are the reason why I didn’t give up when I was in that ER three months ago.”  
  
Luke gave him a smile so big that suddenly the entire room, no, the entire world seemed brighter and better. “This is going to be the best Christmas of my life. And you know it’s because you’re going to be in it. Please Reid, don’t worry about my family. No one pities you. If anything, they think you’re still more infuriating than ever now that you’re a patient.”  
  
“I wanted to hold you at midnight, kiss you and carry you to bed, and spend the night together having sex.” Reid said in a low voice. “I’ve never spent Christmas with someone I loved since I was a child and my parents were alive. I wanted this year to be special.”  
  
“It will be special. We’re together, that’s all that matters. And… we’ll have many other Christmases to come; we’ll spend all of them in bed if you want. Just tell me that you’ll never give up on us and I’m happy.”   
  
Reid gave Luke a half-smile. “Okay… I’ll settle for a kiss and your Grandma Emma’s famous pies.” Then he added more seriously, “I know I already said that, but… if you weren’t here with me, I wouldn’t even try to go through all this, Luke. So this is going to be the best Christmas of my life too, because I found my place in the world, and surprisingly, it’s not the operating room. It’s with you.”  
  
“Is there any rule that forbids us from making out in the hospital?” Luke asked, eyes moist. “Because I totally want to kiss you right now.”  
  
“I’m sure that if you get arrested for molesting a patient, Lucinda Walsh can bail you out of jail in no time.”  
  
Luke kissed Reid with everything that he had, pouring all the love he felt in his heart, and Reid kissed him back, knowing that he would never, ever give up on this wonderful man. His wonderful man.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Reid,” Luke whispered.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Luke” Reid said, kissing the blond again. “Now,” Reid said, when they broke the kiss for air. ”Call the therapist again. Tell her I’m sorry. Promise her one of Emma’s pies. Tell her anything you want, but make her come back, because I want to try again. I can’t give up, because my boyfriend loves me, and I love him, and we have a brilliant future together. Preferably with me standing.” 


End file.
